One day while pooping
a pinch I did feel
I looked down and saw
two eyes, grey as steel
An otter was gazing
up out of the bowl
It’s eyes were like daggers
aimed at my asshole
“You’ve shat on my head!”
it spat between breaths
“I smell like a sewer
I should bite you to death!”
“Calm down gentle creature”
I replied with great care
“Come hop in [...]

Here’s a little moral dilemma. Let’s say that a few days ago there was a mouse in your house. Let’s suppose she was a cute, fluffy little thing, and you did not want to kill her (I’ve decided to call the mouse a “her” based on the title of the book Of Mice and Men. [...]

My bedroom has no windows. This has never really bothered me to a significant degree, because why would I need to look outside when I’m sleeping anyway? For that matter, why, at times, would I want somebody else to be able to look in? My river of thought is not the only thing around here [...]

My stream of thought is immense. It’s a vast flowing river. It has many tributaries, bringing with them knowledge from the Far Reaches. It is slow moving, but ever changing.  It meanders to and fro, always searching for new sources, always threatening to burst its banks. My river of thought is warm and inviting, clear [...]

The problem with star gazing is you can only do it half of the time. You stay up all night, sleep all day, rinse and repeat, but what about all the stuff that’s going on in the Universe while that damn sun is shining in your eyes? What you need is a way to ogle [...]

Recently I was forced to put somebody on Level 1 Timeout, but to my dismay she did not know what that was.  I actually had to explain the nuances of the Timeout Level System. I decided then and there to explicate the different levels of Timeout, in Fish Bowl format, in the hope that this [...]